Summer Safety Tip
Talk With Your Kids About Tough Issues

very year around this time, summer safety stories appear on TV and in newspapers. Parents are reminded to stock up on sunscreen and mosquito repellent, to check that their children's bike helmets fit properly, and to replace the batteries in the smoke detector. What often gets overlooked is this basic and practical message: The beginning of summer is a good time to talk with your kids about some of the other challenges they may face during the upcoming months (and that they will face at some point in the upcoming years), like alcohol, drugs, sex, and violence. We don't immediately associate these dangers with summer. But they are risks that kids encounter more frequently when they have free and unsupervised time. So as you make sure that your children are ready for the pool and the park, take the opportunity to talk with them about other risks too.

Summer, for kids, means freedom and adventure. It has the mystique of being a time when kids can reinvent themselves. We have all seen ugly-duckling-inspired movies in which the main character, usually a teenager, returns from summer vacation physically transformed. Kids really believe that the summertime can change their lives (or at least their social status). They may take this idea so seriously that they become more vulnerable to peer pressure and poor decision-making when school's out. Of course, unchaperoned time is a reality of daily life all year 'round for the eight million children ages 5 to 14 who are without adult supervision on a regular basis. And some unsupervised time is a valuable part of growing up. It gives kids the chance to develop decision-making skills and start to gain confidence and self-reliance. You can help your children become independent thinkers (and help yourself feel comfortable with the kinds of decisions they're likely to make) if you and your children establish a pattern of open communication.

Make yourself your children's first and best resource for their questions and concerns. You can do this by starting conversations about tough topics early. While it's normal to worry about raising an issue before your children are ready to hear it, it's a mistake to assume your children don't think about tough issues. Kids today are exposed to and concerned about adult topics like sex and drugs much earlier than previous generations. For example, a recent survey reported that 44 percent of 8 to 11 year-olds say that drugs and alcohol are "a big problem" for people their age. Moreover, research has shown that 8 to 12-year-olds are especially susceptible to outside influence. But here's the good news: kids in this age group are also more likely to go to their parents for advice. And there's one more reason to talk with your kids about tough topics-if you don't, they're likely to get their information from friends and from the media, who may not share your values. The hardest part of a conversation is often introducing the subject in the first place, so if you see a chance to bring up an important but awkward topic, take it. Use summer events as lead-ins to discussions about drugs, violence, or sex. For example, a summer movie may offer an opportunity to talk about violence. The typical summer blockbuster is full of explosions and fight scenes. Ask your children what they think about such images when the movie trailers play on TV. For additional tips on how to approach tough topics, check out the Talking With Kids About Tough Issues campaign at www.talkingwithkids.org. As a parent, you can communicate values that will help your children make smart decisions.

During the summer, kids have more opportunities to try drugs and alcohol. So they'll have to rely on their own sense of right and wrong when it comes to these choices. If you establish a clear position on drug- and alcohol-use and back up this position through the example of your own behavior, you'll be more likely to influence what your children will do if they are faced with the choice to try drugs and alcohol. And, summer schedules change from day to day, so check in with your kids frequently about how they are using their free time. Make an effort to be available as often as you can -- take advantage of the extra daylight hours by planning family activities in the evening. Help your children find summer programs that encourage their outside interests. We know that during the school year, kids benefit from taking part in organized activities. Kids who spend as few as 1 to 4 hours per week in after-school activities are less likely to use drugs or to become teen parents than students who do not participate in after-school activities. These positive effects of planned activities extend into the summer time.

Even if you have already discussed sex, violence, drugs, and alcohol with your children, discuss them again. And again. Studies have shown that there is a gap between what parents say and what kids hear. For instance, although 43 percent of parents surveyed said that sex is a frequent topic of conversation in their homes, only 26 percent of their teenagers recall speaking to their parents about sex with any regularity. And as kids get older and more likely to come into contact with sex-, drug- and alcohol-related pressures, parents become less likely to bring these topics up! So at the risk of sounding like a broken record to your child (who has, by the way, probably never even seen one), revisit these topics. And don't leave out your older teen.
Even if you've planned every day of your children's summer vacation and feel confident that they are not vulnerable to these dangers, talk to your children about them anyway. At the very least, you'll be reminding your kids that they can come to you with their questions and concerns surrounding tough issues and can count on you for guidance and support. Because some risks can't be prevented by sunscreen, and some preventative measures are good for a lifetime.

1. Miller, 1999, Hofferth & Jankuniene.
2. "Talking With Kids About Tough Issues" National Survey, The Kaiser Family Foundation, 2001.
3. National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center.